I have to say that this post has been very difficult for me to write because of the polarized nature of opinions surrounding this topic. I value authenticity and vulnerability in my writing and I seek for that now as well as the reader's sensitivity to such an emotionally charged topic. Please understand that I write the way I do because of two things. First, I value my faith and second, I'm a gay man who has encountered great opposition in my pursuit of happiness in the LDS church. There are already so many voices critical of the conservative Christian religions that I certainly don't want to be added to that group. However, I cannot pretend that I believe all is well as it currently stands within my belief system. I don't even refer to doctrine here, I refer to Christian attitudes.
I can truly say that I get it on both sides. I know why each side says what it does, and I understand the conversation and dialogue behind each group. I understand the desire that the LGBT community has to establish companionship with a same-sex partner. I feel like there is not other aspect of life that can be as fulfilling. I understand that LGBT people long for inclusion, and long for their relationships and love to be viewed as legitimate. I know firsthand growing up what it was like to never be allowed to express my sexual orientation in normal and healthy ways as simple as handholding or dating. I understand that the LGBT community is not fighting for the right to have sex, but the right to have a monogamous and committed relationship that is recognized by their country.
On the other hand, I understand that there are scriptures in the bible that seem to counsel against same-sex practices. My senior year in high school I memorized (for fun I guess...) the ENTIRE The Family: A Proclamation To The World (an official LDS statement regarding the doctrine of the family). I understand and know every word of what the Christian faiths believe regarding the traditional family. I understand some of the fear of what is new and unknown, especially of that which surrounds aspects of faith.
But regardless of who is saying what, I've been frustrated that all along this seems to have been a debate solely about politics, and not about people. I've sat in church too many Sundays and listened to references to this political debate and have felt utterly forgotten, wondering if anyone has ever considered that there are actually LDS LGBT people who are struggling to find a place to stay. I've felt like so much time and energy have been put into strengthening our arguments while so little has been put into strengthening our members. I know that this is not a representation of what we believe as Christians.
Now that this political battle is soon to be over, I pray that a conversation about love and people will take precedence over the conversation about right versus wrong. I have had deep struggles regarding my faith over the last few years, but there is one thing that I hold on to regardless of what I believe. I believe that acting like Jesus Christ leads to happiness as an individual, a country, and a nation. Christ taught that the greatest commandment were about love. As the great Judge himself, he taught us to leave the judging to him, and that it was for us to love and forgive. He taught us that he came into the world not to condemn the world, but to save it. This is not a call for blind acceptance of whatever rolls our way politically or otherwise, but a hope that we can begin to move past an "us and them" mentality. It's a hope that the divide between these worlds can be lessened for the benefit of all.
Having conversations about emotionally charged topics is difficult (I don't claim to be great at it), and living amongst others with differences is challenging. It's easy to get on social media and post arguments to an invisible audience safe within the confines of our devices, but it takes character and courage to walk alongside those who we disagree with, alongside those who dislike us... this is the higher road. I speak of both political parties, both worlds. It takes guts to take the higher road!
"Seek first to understand, then seek to be understood", is a motto I struggle to live by. It's my sincere hope that as we fight battles and stand for what we believe in the name of Christ, that we stop to question how he would actually do it.
